Well, this is probably not what you want to hear, but here it goes.

First of all, “manifesting your every desire” is a pipe dream. Even the greatest manifestation queens and kings won’t manifest their every desire. Why? Because it takes focus and intention, so you pick your battles.

Second, even if you could do it, it’s not what you should be doing. This is why I can’t stand The Secret, because it encourages people to act only out of self-interest and greed and not give a damn about others.

So “How do you use a powerful method to manifest your every desire?” is the wrong question to ask.

What’s the right question?

“How do I manifest a materially, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilling life?”

Because let’s be real here, this is what everyone actually wants. All the stuff people buy is just a distraction from that gaping void in their hearts that can never be filled with one-night stands, shopping sprees, drugs, luxury vacations, sports cars, or McMansions.

So I will answer the question you didn’t ask. There are three things you can do to manifest a materially, emotionally, and spiritually fulfilling life:

1. Walk with God. 

Align your own will with that of Spirit, and your life will improve immediately. Every morning, make a list of blessings you’ve received and thank God from the bottom of your heart. This shows that you are willing to receive and will open you up to more receiving. Ask Him to send you signs and guide you where you’re supposed to go. Ask Him to help you serve others during the day.

2. Give, give, give. 

Seize any opportunity you get to serve others, as opposed to only serving yourself. The more you give—time, energy, money, love, kindness—the more you will receive. Give a portion of your monthly income to a church or charitable cause. Look actively for ways to make someone’s day; sometimes just a smile will do it.

If you ask for chances to serve, Spirit will send some your way; just make sure you look for them. Maybe it’s the woman in line ahead of you who lacks a few bucks to pay her grocery bill. Maybe it’s the guy at the bank who dropped a $10 bill on the ground. Maybe it’s the young woman who needs someone to help carry her stroller down some stairs.

In your friendships and relationships, don’t look for what you get out of them, but for what you could contribute to them. This is guaranteed to make you happier and will lead to many good things flowing your way.

3. Try the Goodwill Manifestation. 

This is my favorite manifestation technique for any and all situations that involve other people or even your pets. It asks for nothing, but can provide anything… often in sheer miraculous and nearly instantaneous ways. All you do is spread blessings around, and it’s totally awesome. I’m describing the technique in this blog post and in greater detail in this free report.

See, this is why I always say there is no Law of Attraction. Books like The Secret claim that you get out exactly what you put in. That might be correct for computers, but manifestation is a little bit more complex.

So, no, I don’t believe that having positive thoughts will give you positive things and negative thoughts will bring negative things. If that were true, every single person with depression, a phobia, anxiety disorders, etc. would have an objectively horrible life. So would natural pessimists.

Obviously, that is not the case. I know tons of people, including myself (hence the “grumpy”), who don’t have the sunniest outlook but whose lives are pretty darn good and who have no trouble manifesting.

I think what’s much more important is intention and faith. Visualization of what you want, combined with faith that it’s already yours and an overwhelming gratitude for the fact that it is, are the most important ingredients for a successful manifestation.

Aside from those “technical” aspects, I believe it’s also important what kind of person you are. For example, not everyone who’s super-nice is a good person, and not everyone who is a good person is super-nice. But a good person will always drift toward service to others vs. service to self alone, and their manifestations will reflect that as well.

And finally, often negative things can happen in your life because you’re not doing what you’re supposed to do. I’ve found that Spirit abhors stagnation. If you’re digging in your heels even though there are things you’re meant to do and places to go, you will at first get little nudges and pokes. If you keep ignoring those, at some point there will be a major kick in the butt.

Unfortunately, most people who experience these kicks in the butt don’t recognize them for what they are. Instead, they lament that they are “down on their luck” when in fact what they experience is a direct effect of their stagnation.

A friend of mine was stuck in a terrible job where her boss humiliated her daily. At the same time, she and her husband also lived in a place that was drafty and cold and the landlord was literally insane.
All of a sudden, she developed a mysterious clumsiness. She kept stumbling over her own feet, falling down stairs, slipping and falling on ice, etc.

I told her to get out of that job and out of that house immediately. A few months later, she called it quits on both parts, and her accidents instantly stopped.

So if you experience “bad luck,” examine your life for possible bottlenecks. Are you not doing something you’re supposed to do? Are you doing something that you’re supposed to not do? Should you move somewhere else? Change your job? Start that college education? Finally marry the guy/girl you’ve been engaged to for five years? Or break up with him/her if you’re just not sure he/she’s “the one”?

Once you identify the source of your stagnation and remove it, you might be surprised how fast things change for you.​

Is the Law of Attraction about working on yourself by seeking knowledge... or changing your habits... working smartly on your job... or not taking any action at all?

As I always say, the Law of Attraction doesn’t really exist. If it did, people with phobias, depression, anxiety, or people who are simply natural pessimists would have objectivelyhorrible lives… but they don’t. Many have loving friends and family, a good job, a decent income, a nice house, a good relationship, etc.

Instead, manifestation is all about intention. It’s using your God-given spark of innate magic to create physical objects by turning ideas into matter. And I think keeping the “God part” in manifestation is essential for results that truly benefit you.

That’s why I abhor The Secret and similar LOA books that are all about getting that Lambo, that McMansion, and that luxury Caribbean cruise.

I believe there are three levels of manifestation:

1. The “Stuff” Level (Me, me, me)
2. The “Heart’s Desires” Level (Me & You)
3. The “Spirit” Level (Me & God)

I wrote about them at length here.

Once you elevate yourself to Level 3, you realize that life is really about serving, not getting and consuming. At that point, your oh-so urgent wants and desires from the “Stuff” Level start looking really pathetic in comparison to your real goal: your own soul evolution.

Sure, we all need to eat and have shelter, warmth, clothes, and other creature comforts. And there’s no reason that we have to be dressed in sack cloth and become hermit monks.

​Also, it’s hard (if not impossible) to continuously stay on Level 3. We’re all just human, after all. We falter, we fall on our face, we pick ourselves up and try again.

But once you even get a glimpse of Level 3, there’s really no turning back. Once you know what the sky looks like above the clouds, you can never be satisfied with the dim ground view of the overcast skies again.
​

Someone on Quora asked me how they might use the Law of Attraction or other methods to attract their "twin flame."

The answer is multi-leveled. Let me start with the simplest answer: I found that writing a “soulmate list” works pretty well. That means you create a manifestation list specifically geared towards finding a partner.

I recommend making it as long and detailed as possible. I wouldn’t list too many details about outer appearance, though. My “type” used to be tall, dark-haired, and dark-eyed, but I ended up marrying a blond and blue-eyed man. So don’t limit your opportunities to find the right person by being too finicky about looks.

Other than that, though, you should be relatively precise. Then read your list over and over (and make additions or changes) for 21 days. Then put it away in a drawer and forget about it. This is necessary to let go of the wish, release its energy into the universe, and give Spirit a chance to work on it.

One super-important part, though, that no one talks about is the prep work you should do, and that means working on yourself. People tend to say, “I want the perfect partner,” but there’s no such thing.

There’s only the perfect partner for you, at any given time in your life.

The person who would be your perfect partner when you’re 20 might not be your perfect partner when you’re 50.

And usually, when we say, “perfect partner,” we mean someone who is our ideal of a person we’d like to spend our life with.

But ARE YOU the type of person someone else would want to spend their life with?

I know it’s hard to ask yourself this, and most people practice an astonishing level of self-delusion, but it needs to be said. Most people want a partner who is kind and supportive, loving and nonjudgmental, who has their SO’s best interests and happiness at heart, even more than their own. They want someone who treats them like a prince/princess and will stick with them through thick and thin.

But very few ask themselves: “Am I the kind of person that would/could do all these things?”

A relationship is a two-way street, and you should be prepared to give what you want to get from your significant other.

Unfortunately, many of us are somewhat dysfunctional. Maybe you grew up with a distant father and now you have daddy issues. Maybe your mother was stern and demanding, and you inherited some of her traits. Maybe you’re so afraid of being abandoned that you tend to push people away so you won’t get hurt. Etc., etc.

Just know that if you have dysfunctional patterns, you will only ever attract partners with matching or complementary dysfunctional patterns.

That’s the reason why abused women tend to get together with abusive men… or why women with cold, aloof fathers tend to fall for men with commitment problems.

We want someone who’s loving and altruistic, but we keep asking ourselves in every relationship, “What am I getting out of this?” instead of "What can I contribute?" 

We make mental lists of how much we have done for the other person versus how much they have done for us.

We get impatient and annoyed when after the honeymoon period, we find out that our partner has character flaws like everyone else.

​We don’t want our partner to expect too much from us because it makes us feel suffocated… but on the other hand, we want them to provide all the emotional satisfaction we’ve been lacking.

In other words, before you can attract your “perfect partner,” you must become a better partner.

That requires a lot of soul-searching, brutal honesty, and the ability to face your own Shadow. I recommend counseling because it’s much easier to figure all this out with the help of a professional.
​
Honestly, I think if everyone would do this before launching into a relationship, there would be a lot fewer divorces and breakups. Plus, the world in general would be a better place, because striving to be a better partner comes in handy for all kinds of human relationships, not just romantic ones.